On the Verge of hurting myself?

Today was like the worst day of my life my little brother ped away and i just feel like theirs i didn't do enough even though he was really little i felt like i should of taking his place i mean all he did was stay in the nicu and he was doing fine his pda closed and he was almost ready to come home but he died im like very depressed and i feel like besides my family my friends rantnott being their for me i just fsuicidalidal because it just hurts i need some help..someone try to help me i really need someone 2 talk 2 someone who gets how am feeling